Reply #20 on: May 02, 2011, 16:08:28 PM
Well I couldn't very well ignore this thread could I...*deep breath*...
Short answer: She obviously likes you and how she has seen you on the last two meetings. Stay as you are and behave as expected...if you've been shy and just talked and been the perfect gentleman, ask if you can kiss her goodbye. That's the only way to see how things go. Chances are if she's never had a BF, she'll be really nervous and a kiss goodbye will be all that is needed, let things progress naturally, don't force it.
Now for the long answer, using my own relationship experience since xmas as an example, go make some popcorn peeps, this could be a long one...
It's best to read this on the assumption that this girl might feel the same way, if it's all new to her, as it was to me.
Background:
Last autumn I met Kathryn when she was assisting in biochemistry lab practicals. They were pretty manic and so we only really had about 15 mins of free time to chat each week. But that first week I discovered she loved LOTR, was very intelligent, and had an amazing personality. It was only a few weeks till I started to look forward to what would have been the most painful part of the week. So I asked her if she wanted to come out and do some fieldwork with me, as it was related to her PHD, and she said yes. We got to talk about all kinds of stuff in the car journey out and back.
Kathryn was pretty confident, though she claims otherwise, and asked me to a few things like drinks after work, but because of my personality quirks I kept turning her down. We've talked about it all since and she said for ages she didn't know whether I liked her or not, even though I really did, and made a few "gifts" for her...she didn't know whether I was just a nice guy that did that for everyone, or whether it was because I liked her.
Our first couple of sort-of-date was a leaving party for one of the admin girls. I was a taxi for someone else, and when we got to the meal we ended up sat at different ends of the table somehow, and despite her best efforts afterwards to stay out, I had to give lifts to those I brought with me.
The next one was going to a christmas carol thing at the unis local church, and even though I really wanted to kiss her or hold her hand, I chickened out, and again a phd student sat between us, despite my trying to stay by her side.
We also did a Leslie nielson send off, and despite laying next to each other on the floor to watch the naked gun trilogy, I decided to sleep on the floor instead of in her bed. Kathryn at that point was pretty sure I didn't like her as I had turned her down in her eyes, even though it was just a massive step for me.
It wasn't until we went to another students house warming party that I plucked up the courage to put my arm around her, we reckon this is our "anniversary" date now as it's when she knew that I really did like her, it was pretty amazing. I think I kissed her good night in the car at the end too, which was a classic peck on the lips, combined with accidentally hitting the accelerator in the car.
A few days later we went to see Billy Bragg, and I used the smooth line of wondering what flavour her lip gloss was to kiss her.
I'm not sure how long it took till we, um, *cough*, but that was initiated by Kathryn. The first proper kiss I had was only because we were on the floor and she literally pinned me so when I kissed her, I couldn't run away. That turned in to a pretty special night, but again she lead, as I didn't know what to do...in the sense of was it rushing, what was normal etc. Even now there's still a lot I'm getting used to, with no prior experience I'm still learning the ropes in terms of what is required in a relationship etc
I guess the moral of the long story above is that if she really has had no relationship experience, it's going to be a weird thing for her, scary and exhilarating at the same time, take the initiative and kiss her, but do so in a way that isn't pushy and is caring and demonstrates your consideration of her circumstances?
