STARS IN THEIR EYES

A young man in a wheelchair rolls on to the stage, and Matthew Kelly
Introduces him as Simon.

MK: "Its very brave you coming out here in your wheelchair - can you
tell the audience what happened?"

Simon: "About a year ago, I was driving with my uncle when we had a
really big accident.

Unfortunately, my uncle was killed outright, but I survived, trapped in
the car for 6 hours and had to be cut free.
The doctors had me in surgery for 12 hours, but they couldnt save my
legs."

MK: "Thats terrible, but I see you have legs now, are they artificial?"

Simon: "No, Matthew, whilst in hospital, the doctors advised me that the
uncle who had been in the car with me had passed away, but that his legs
were fine, and that with all the advances in medical science, they could
graft his legs onto my body. I have been having physiotherapy for
6 months, and I hope to be walking again by the end of the year."

Much applause.

MK: "Thats fantastic. So, Simon, who are you going to be?"

Simon: "Tonight Matthew Im going to be....
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>> ......... Simon and half-uncle."

sorta worked that one out as i was reading it but still made me laugh lol

ts astounding, time is fleeting
Madness takes its toll
But listen closely, not for very much longer
Ive got to keep control

I remember doing the TIme Warp
Drinking those moments when
The blackness would hit me and the void would be calling
Lets do the time warp again...
Lets do the time warp again!

Its just a jump to the left
And then a step to the right
With your hands on your hips
You bring your knees in tight
But its the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane,
Lets do the Time Warp again!

Its so dreamy, oh fantasy free me
So you cant see me, no not at all
In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention
Well-secluded, I see all
With a bit of a mind flip
Youre there in the time slip
And nothing can ever be the same
Youre spaced out on sensation, like youre under sedation
Lets do the Time Warp again!

Well I was walking down the street just a-having a think
When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink
He shook me up, he took me by surprise
He had a pickup truck and the devils eyes.
He stared at me and I felt a change
Time meant nothing, never would again
Lets do the Time Warp again!