...

Paddy and Murphy are walking through the jungle. They walk past an alligator with a blokes head in its mouth. Paddy notices this, taps Murphy on the shoulder and says "look at that flash **** in his LaCoste sleeping bag!"


Seven Englishman and an Irishman are in a rape line up....
The victim walks in and Paddy steps forward and shouts "That`s her, the miserable frigid f**ker"!!!!



Patrick, who was on holiday from Ireland on Bondi beach couldnt seem to make it with any of the girls. So he asked the local lifeguard for some advice.

Mate, its obvious," says the lifeguard, "youre wearing them old baggy swimming trunks that make ya look like an old geezer Theyre years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos - about two sizes too small and drop a fist-sized potato down inside em. Im tellin ya mate...youll have all the babes ya want!"

The following weekend, Patrick hits the beach with his new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato. Everybody on the beach was disgusted as he walked by, covering their faces, turning away, and laughing, looking sick!

So Patrick went back to the lifeguard again and asked him, "Whats wrong now?"

JAHEESUS!" said the lifeguard,"Mate. The potato goes in front!"